


all the clever things i should say to you

by strongbut



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (implied past sexual abuse), Anal Sex, Explicit Consent, First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Coital Cuddling, Pre-Stream (Critical Role), Pure sentimental gloop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 05:49:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strongbut/pseuds/strongbut
Summary: To his credit, Vax doesn’t laugh, only raises one thin eyebrow. “Something I know and the genius Percival doesn’t? You don’t say?” His voice is oddly gentle all the same. "You know, I'm honored you chose me for such a momentous occasion."(Percy is a virgin. It's not a problem, exactly, but Vax has a solution nonetheless.)





	all the clever things i should say to you

**Author's Note:**

> hello! so this takes place at an unidentified time probably pre-stream. vox machina is just a plucky band of adventurers tramping through the woods and getting to know each other. the title is from "i like you so much better when you're naked" by ida maria and it's a great song so check it out if you haven't heard it already. 
> 
> also, any feedback is appreciated!! my computer keeps autocorrecting 'vax' to 'vex' and i live in fear forgetting to switch them out.

Possibly it’s the cheap ale he washes down supper with. Or adrenaline. Or stress. Or horniness because, after all, he is just a twenty-two year old boy and oh Gods, he is constantly horny. Regardless, it has been a long day. If Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III was a normal twenty-two year old boy, he would have realized that his joking with Vax'ildan is probably more akin to flirting than anything. Unfortunately, he’s Percy, so he watches Vax’s mouth, eyes wide, hardly sure of what exactly he’s feeling only that it feels good and seems centered in his trousers. The feeling may have come from any number of aforementioned variables and the primary effect is that Percy cannot stop staring at Vax's mouth. 

And then, as the rest of the group separates to their separate beds, Vax invites Percy to continue “joking” in his room, and Percy follows. He doesn’t notice the looks the other tavern patrons give them as they climb the stairs, arm in arm, laughing loudly at nothing really, only nothing always seems so funny when it comes from Vax’s mouth. And then they’re in Vax’s room and Vax’s mouth is very close, so close, and then he’s tasting Vax’s mouth. 

Vax tastes like mouth. That’s the best comparison. He tastes like saliva and wet and softness and it’s so surprisingly gentle that Percy, for a brief moment, lets himself melt, lets himself be kissed without the slightest inclination to kiss back.

And when he does kiss back, it’s toothy and cruel and Vax shudders for a moment. Percy pauses. They look at each other. Vax cocks his head to the side.

“I knew there had to a wild man underneath all those layers,” Vax says, as casual as if he’d commented on the weather, and in response Percy begins working at the buttons of Vax’s shirt, his usually nimble fingers gone stiff.

“Don’t fuck with me,” Percy says in a low voice that makes Vax purr with desire. “Don’t you dare fuck with me tonight, Vax’ildan.”

And he knows he’s an inexperienced kisser, all eagerness, but Vax doesn’t mind, only kisses harder until they’re both tumbling to the bed, half-made and flea-infested. The smell of the oil lamp, the smell of their own sweat and grime from three weeks in the woods, the smell of rat droppings no doubt hidden away in every corner: Percy breathes it in. Inhale. _Exhale._  Then he sees Vax fiddle with his breeches, and Percy suddenly realizes that when a man brings you to his room and kisses you on the mouth, he usually doesn’t stop there. For some reason, Percy’s imagination only ever reached them, on the bed, in varying states of undress, just… kissing. That is currently the height of his desire and the extent of his past experience. 

“Gods,” says Vax desperately, breaking Percy out of his reverie. Vax is naked. When did he get naked? How does one get naked so quickly? And he’s… He’s _ready_. 

They’ve seen each other’s cocks a few hundred times by now: pissing, bathing, changing… It’s one of the dangers of living in close quarters. And yet, something about the way Vax looks under the lamp’s soft orange glow, erect and waiting, makes him feel a bit like a stranger. This can’t be the Vax’ildan who, only a few hours ago was making unfunny jokes and stabbing goblins until his hands were crimson. This is a new Vax, and one Percy feels distinctly unsure of. 

“Well?” says Vax, and Percy realizes he’s been staring. He feels his face flush and begins pulling off his boots, his socks, his trousers, his shirt. He finds, somewhat to his surprise, that he’s quite hard as well. He tries to focus on his clothes, on setting them aside neatly on the bedside table. He tries not to think of Vax’s eyes, so hungry, and his clever mouth and his long, clever fingers and… Percy gulps. 

“So methodical,” Vax drawls, leaning against the headboard. “Are you done ye—“ He stops as Percy’s mouth collides with his, their bodies pressing as Percy straddles him, cock against cock. Percy focuses on the sensation of Vax’s skin on his own, anything but the steady roil of his stomach. He just needs to play it cool, affect his usual smug competence, show no fear, let Vax think that this is normal, _oh he does this all the time_ , nothing special here. 

“Freddy.” 

“Mm?” Percy’s response is slightly muffled by Vax’s nipple in his mouth.

“Freddy.” 

Vax pushes Percy off, and oh, he looks so glorious, all flushed and his mouth swollen and hair mussed and— Percy has to focus very hard to not to let his mind wander.

“What is it?”

Vax sighs and brings his knees up to his chest. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Freddy, but you seem a little distracted. Is this, uh? Are you okay with this?”

“I had your nipple in my mouth,” says Percy. 

“Well, yes.”

There’s a silent standoff for several moments. Vax stares at Percy, who stares at Vax’s knees. He’s never noticed what nice knees Vax has. He didn’t even know that knees could be particularly erotic, but something about the shape of this particular set, the way they hold his calves together… 

Then it tumbles out before Percy can stop himself, his brain distracted by his cock and his mouth operating with no oversight at all. “I want this. Very much. I, err, I’m new at this. So I’m trying not to do anything wrong or make a mistake.”

To his credit, Vax doesn’t laugh, only raises one thin eyebrow. “Something I know and the genius Percival doesn’t? You don’t say?” His voice is oddly gentle all the same. “I knew you seemed… not in the moment. You should have said something.” 

“It didn’t seem relevant,” Percy says. He knows he’ll be embarrassed by this whole exchange in the morning but he’s drunk on kisses and so aroused that it almost hurts. 

“Not relevant? My dear boy, you couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact I’m honored that you chose me for such a momentous occasion.” Vax lowers his eyes slightly, glancing down to Percy’s jutting cock. “I intend to make this special for you.” 

Percy moans but Vax, undeterred, continues in his smooth, cat-like voice. “Now Freddy, is there anything particular you have in mind for us to try? Anything you’ve been fantasizing about? And oh, is this your first time with a man or your first time not with your hand? There’s no shame in it, you know. It’s rather… enticing, after all.”

“There was a girl, uh, _before_. I was sixteen and I… We fooled around. Nothing… like this. We just kissed,” Percy says, fully aware how childish it sounds and still desperate to prove that he isn’t a total beginner. He tries not to think of that girl. She was a housemaid in the castle and she looked a bit like Keyleth actually, if Keyleth was yellow-haired and had a bit more weight to her hips and stomach. _Probably,_ Percy thinks with a sudden sick feeling, _she died years ago_. He wonders if her connection, however tenuous, with his family was what doomed her. He doesn’t think of Dr. Ripley. Dr. Ripley doesn’t count. He clenches a fist in the bedsheets and swallows. Vax is watching him.

“It was just one of those silly things teenagers do,” Percy finishes lamely. He won’t think about Whitestone, not here of all places, not now. “So yes, this is my first time. I haven’t really had time to think about it much, never mind try anything out.” 

“Hmm,” says Vax, suddenly looking a bit like a schoolteacher grading an exam. “I see. Well I know you masturbate,” (he laughs at Percy’s horrified expression) “ _Please_ , we all do. Why do you think I go on all those long walks in the evening? Rest assured, you were very subtle and quiet under your bedroll. I’m just especially good at noticing these things. So how do you touch yourself? Would you like me to, uh, improvise based on that?”

Percy nods. He realizes suddenly that he’s been stroking himself slowly for the past few minutes. _Pay attention Percival,_ he thinks. _Don’t be a fool._ “I uh, well I do this,” he says, and Vax gives his full attention to Percy’s hand, how it cups the tip and then slides down the length, fingers fluttering slightly. “And I like to um, put a finger, uh…” He feels the heat rush to his face but Vax smiles.

“Don’t we all, my dear Freddy? Oh, this _will_ be a treat. Lie back now.” With surprising strength, his arranges Percy’s body so that he’s lying on his side, head on the pillows. Percy closes his eyes, listening as Vax slides off the bed and begins rifling through his pack. The sound of a vial being uncorked.

“Your first lesson: always, always use a proper lubricant. Trust me on that one.” 

And just like that, there’s a sudden pressure against his hole and Percy feels such a rush of arousal that he worries he’ll finish before they even begin. Vax lays a warm, wet hand on Percy’s side, rubbing little circles into his shoulder. “Tell me if it’s uncomfortable or you want me to stop,” Vax says, and Percy can only choke out “YES, YES” as a finger slides inside him, crooking slightly against that spot, that perfect spot, the one he always struggles to reach on his own. 

“You’re so _tight,_ ” Vax murmurs and Percy can hear a bit of tremor in his voice. “Gods, we have to stretch you out.” 

In goes another finger, then another, and Percy bites down on his hand to keep from whining, to keep from begging. 

“Touch your cock,” Vax commands, and without thinking, Percy begins stroking himself. He would follow that voice, silky and slightly dangerous, to the ends of the world. He would rip open his chest and let Vax poke at his innards, let Vax hear all this most embarrassing secrets. And then he conjures a sudden image of himself on a wooden table, actually opened up and held open with those little tweezer they use in operations, and he can see a scalpel waiting for him, and it’s so cold, and he’s so frightened, and he wants his mother and.

“Freddy?”

“Please go on,” Percy says. “I just… I got distracted. Please.”

Vax continues but slower this time, more tender. He kisses down Percy’s back with just a hint of teeth, his breath hot, and somehow that’s even sexier than his hand in Percy’s ass. Vax can be gentle. Vax is gentle with Percy. Vax cares about Percy. It makes Percy feel all wobbly and confused and really, really hard. 

“Freddy, I’m going to fuck you now. Are you okay with that? Do you want me to fuck you?” And good Gods, Vax sounds almost nervous. Percy summons his last bit of clarity. “By all means, begin.”

It begins slowly, and _oh, oh this is so much better than just his fingers._ Vax fills him up to the point of pain, but what a wonderful pain it is, what a wonderful ache inside him as Vax rocks in and out. It only takes a thrust or two before Percy’s eyes roll back in his head and he shudders, spilling himself all over the moth-eaten sheets and for a wonderful, magical moment in time his mind goes blank. He is floating somewhere safe, somewhere quiet. He has no memories, no nightmares. He’s just a great lump of man, drained of life, unable to _think_ or perseverate or fear _._ It’s glorious.

Gradually he becomes aware of his surrounding, of the wetness on his stomach and the pleasurable ache in his ass. He opens his eyes and sits up. Vax stands at a cracked porcelain basin, rubbing himself down with a towel.

“Was it like you imagined?” Vax says, grinning. 

“Is it always like that?” Percy mutters, straightening his spectacles and yawning. He is so tired. How had he not noticed how tired he was? He’s been bone-deep exhausted for days and it all hits him at once.

“No,” says Vax, pensive. “It can be quite dull, actually, if you aren’t with the right person.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” says Percy. 

Vax laughs, then puts his hands on his hips and wrinkles his nose. “Who’s the expert, hmm? Anyway I’m giving you a compliment, so shut up and take it.” 

Blushing, Percy stretches his arms out and leans back against the pillows. He is good at sex. What a wonderful and extraordinary thought. He didn’t think he’d live long enough to _try_ sex, never mind be good at it. He finds that he’s smiling, almost giddy. He begins to clean himself up with his shirt. He'll buy another. How can he think of shirts and clothes and silliness now? 

“I suppose I should go back to my room,” he says finally. Vax, pulling on a nightshirt, makes a choking noise. His head emerges from the fabric, narrow and frowning.

“Are you one of those people who wants to be alone afterwards?” He moves to the bed and puts a hand on Percy’s chest. It feels very cool and heavy. 

“I know at least that falling asleep in someone’s bed is considered bad form.” Percy tries not to look at Vax’s face and instead focuses on his feet, touching the opposing headboard. He thinks distantly that they are rather ugly feet. A little hairy. He hopes Vax didn’t notice them. 

“Oh Freddy, that’s only if it’s a stranger or something. People who really like each other tend to want to, uh, spend time together afterwards.” Vax’s hand begins to tap something out on Percy’s chest and Percy realizes that Vax is nervous. He looks away from his feet and meets Vax’s eyes. 

“Well I like you,” he says, and watches gleefully as Vax’s face softens. 

“What an odd coincidence,” says Vax, smiling. “I like you as well. Now move over or there won’t be any room for me.” 

Percy acquiesces, moving to the side and then rolling over the face Vax, looking very small under all the blankets. “Your feet are cold.”

“You’re overheated,” Vax says matter-of-factly, and nudges Percy’s thigh with one chilled foot. Then, with a curious and slightly sly jut of his lower lip, he moves closer until his face is hidden in Percy’s chest. It takes a few moments for Percy to realize that he ought to do something as well, and he somewhat awkwardly pats Vax’s back. Vax burrows closer. Percy feels his stomach flip and then flop. 

“G’night,” Vax murmurs, already half-asleep. “Good night,” Percy responds. It takes him a little longer to fall asleep but when he does, he sleeps deeply and peacefully. 

 


End file.
